fbpx
Dealing with Frenemies

Dealing with Frenemies

Dealing with Frenemies

Dealing with Frenemies

Dear Lucretia,

My friend has changed a lot lately. She barely even speaks to me and my other friends and when we try to talk to her she just ignores us and continues talking to her new friend. I am having a gathering and she told us she didn’t want to come and she would rather hang with her new friend. But when I told her that a boy she was crushing over was coming she decided to come.

The other day I noticed something was off as she blew me off for no reason. It turns out she was telling all my other friends that our friendship was toxic and started to cry. I don’t know whether I want to mend our friendship, but I know that all my other friends will turn on me, and I don’t want to lose them. Thanks for helping me.

Silvia, 16 years old

Follow DearLucretia.com on socials!

Dear Silvia, 
Teenage relationships can be very complicated but it’s important you stay true to yourself. If this girl only wants to spend time with you when it will benefit her in some way, that is very toxic – for you. And if your others decide to turn on you, that means they weren’t very good friends to begin with.

Sometimes we get so caught up in wanting someone to like us back that we lose our way. My advice is that you sit down and have a good think about your relationship with this girl. Have you been deliberately mean to her in any way? If so, apologise and move forward. If not, then it is time to assess whether this friendship is really a friendship at all. 

Friends can have a bad day and be snappy, then apologise later. After all, life is challenging and sometimes we take our unhappiness out on the people closest to us. But, it doesn’t sound like this is happening in your friendship. 

True friends are kind and supportive. They don’t try to compete with us for popularity and they don’t make up stories about us either. I understand that often we want someone to like us but not everyone will…and that is okay. It doesn’t mean you are a bad person because your worth is not based on what someone else thinks. 

It doesn’t sound like it is up to you to “mend” this friendship. It would probably be healthier to step back and let her go.

Lots of love,

Got a question?

Lucretia gives honest and practical advice to help you choose the best path for you. It’s all about taking the filters off and helping young women value themselves more. Click the button to ask your question today!

Is she only Pretending to be my Friend?

Is she only Pretending to be my Friend?

Is she only Pretending to be my Friend?

Dear Lucretia,

Lately, my friends have been mostly talking to one another and I feel as though they are talking about me behind my back. When they do speak to me, I feel as if they are just pretending to be my friend. How do I know if they are genuinely wanting to be my friend? Or is it all fake?

Tegan, 16 years old

Follow DearLucretia.com on socials!

Dear Tegan, 
Being a teenager can be hard and friendships shift and change all the time. So how do you work out who is really your friend? My advice is to decide who you want to be friends with and go from there. Do this by asking yourself, what are your categories for a good friend? How do they behave? How do you support each other?

It’s important to remember that friendship is a two-way street. Sometimes we get so caught up in wanting the approval of others that we forget to set our own standards. Then we stay friends with people who don’t treat us well and ignore the people who are always looking out for us. It’s crazy, isn’t it?

The best way to identify real friends is to be a real friend yourself. Be kind, be honest and show up for the people you care about. If they don’t behave in the same way towards you, then you have your answer.

If someone doesn’t want to be your friend, that’s okay because it is not a reflection of how worthy you are. There will be lots of others who will want to be your friend because you share common interests, laugh at the same things or like similar activities.

Real friends are easily identified because we feel good when we are around them, and we feel accepted and cared about. Connecting with just one or two real friends is a wonderful thing and far more important than hanging around with a group of people we don’t value us.

If you feel like some girls are talking behind your back and being mean, walk away and spend your time with other people who value you.

Lots of love,

Got a question?

Lucretia gives honest and practical advice to help you choose the best path for you. It’s all about taking the filters off and helping young women value themselves more. Click the button to ask your question today!

Pin It on Pinterest