Is she only Pretending to be my Friend?

Is she only Pretending to be my Friend?

Is she only Pretending to be my Friend?

Dear Lucretia,

Lately, my friends have been mostly talking to one another and I feel as though they are talking about me behind my back. When they do speak to me, I feel as if they are just pretending to be my friend. How do I know if they are genuinely wanting to be my friend? Or is it all fake?

Tegan, 16 years old

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Dear Tegan, 
Being a teenager can be hard and friendships shift and change all the time. So how do you work out who is really your friend? My advice is to decide who you want to be friends with and go from there. Do this by asking yourself, what are your categories for a good friend? How do they behave? How do you support each other?

It’s important to remember that friendship is a two-way street. Sometimes we get so caught up in wanting the approval of others that we forget to set our own standards. Then we stay friends with people who don’t treat us well and ignore the people who are always looking out for us. It’s crazy, isn’t it?

The best way to identify real friends is to be a real friend yourself. Be kind, be honest and show up for the people you care about. If they don’t behave in the same way towards you, then you have your answer.

If someone doesn’t want to be your friend, that’s okay because it is not a reflection of how worthy you are. There will be lots of others who will want to be your friend because you share common interests, laugh at the same things or like similar activities.

Real friends are easily identified because we feel good when we are around them, and we feel accepted and cared about. Connecting with just one or two real friends is a wonderful thing and far more important than hanging around with a group of people we don’t value us.

If you feel like some girls are talking behind your back and being mean, walk away and spend your time with other people who value you.

Lots of love,

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