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Does he Like me?

Does he Like me?

Does he Like me?

Dear Lucretia, does he like me?

Dear Lucretia,

How can I tell if a boy likes me back?

Zara, 17 years old

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Dear Zara, 
A boy who likes you, will make time for you.

He will want to get to know who you are, what you like, what you don’t like and how you spend your time. He will be interested in what you have to say and will want to talk you. Even if he is a shy guy, he will still do these things to show he is interested. You might find that he looks over at you a lot and makes excuses to be near you. 

Remember, don’t be fooled by the old stories that if a boy is mean to you, he likes you. This is untrue. If a boy is rude, mean or disrespectful, that is your cue to walk away from him because he is not worthy of you.

Lots of love,

Got a question?

Lucretia gives honest and practical advice to help you choose the best path for you. It’s all about taking the filters off and helping young women value themselves more. Click the button to ask your question today!

How Can I feel Happier?

How Can I feel Happier?

How Can I feel Happier?

Dear Lucretia how can I feel happier?

Dear Lucretia,

How can I feel happier about myself and what’s coming? I’ve been depressed for such a long time and I don’t look forward to anything anymore. I don’t know what to do.

Kirralee, 19 years old

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Dear Kirralee, 
Depression is such a challenging condition to overcome – but it’s not impossible. The most important thing is to call in as much support as you can and be willing to get to the bottom of what is causing you to feel this way.

You need a support crew and some strategies to help you during this journey. Find a good counsellor or psychologist who you feel understands you. You might have to try a couple before you find the right one and that’s okay. Then you need to be honest about how you really feel, without shame. You are a good person with a hefty problem that you need to work through so let the counsellor or psychologist guide you through the process. 

Part of this process will involve getting to know yourself more. I find that journaling is a great way to honestly explore who you are and how you feel. There is a wonderful freedom that comes from writing in a journal, by hand, when you know that no one else will ever see it. Write a little every day and you will be helping to clear out all the noisy and unhelpful thoughts in your head. 

Lastly, I want you to focus on the things that bring you joy and every night, before you go to bed, I want you to write down three things that went well during the day. It doesn’t matter how small or big these things are. Just write down three every night. This will help your mind focus more on the positive things in your life. 

Kirralee, you are a beautiful human being and I’m so glad you reached out for some advice. I hope it helps.

Lots of love,

Lucretia’s guidance should be regarded as personal opinion only and does not constitute qualified, professional advice regarding psychological situations. If you require this type of advice, please seek the services of a professional in that field.

Got a question?

Lucretia gives honest and practical advice to help you choose the best path for you. It’s all about taking the filters off and helping young women value themselves more. Click the button to ask your question today!

How to Recover when you Screw Up

How to Recover when you Screw Up

How to Recover when you Screw Up

dear lucretia, how to recover when you screw up

Dear Lucretia,

This week I made a mistake at work and got into a bit of trouble because of it. Now I’m worried that my colleagues don’t like me and talk badly about me behind my back. I’m starting to get anxiety attacks when going to work in the mornings, partly because I’m afraid to make mistakes again. What can I do to feel more comfortable?

Cassie, 22 years old

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Dear Cassie, 
What if I told you that making mistakes is a good thing? When we try something and it doesn’t work, we expand and this is positive. I am sure your colleagues have made many mistakes during their lives and, if they believe they are perfect, the Universe will soon remind them of their innate humanness.

Humans who try to be perfect all the time are doomed to fail. It is much better to accept that sometimes you will stuff up and that’s okay. The most important thing is you learn from it and keep going.

If you need more information or resources to help improve your performance, then don’t be afraid to ask. A good supervisor loves it when an employee owns their mistakes and is keen to get it right next time.

Lastly, always remember that most people spend most of their time thinking about themselves and their own challenges. It’s quite possible that your colleagues are not thinking about you at all. But, if they are, it doesn’t matter because what you think about yourself is the most important thing.

Lots of love,

Got a question?

Lucretia gives honest and practical advice to help you choose the best path for you. It’s all about taking the filters off and helping young women value themselves more. Click the button to ask your question today!

Lucretia’s guidance should be regarded as personal opinion only and does not constitute qualified, professional advice regarding psychological situations. If you require this type of advice, please seek the services of a professional in that field.
How Can I feel Normal?

How Can I feel Normal?

How Can I feel Normal?

Dear Lucretia How Can I Feel Normal

Dear Lucretia,

What do I do when both my mum and partner’s mum tell me I have borderline personality disorder? I feel so stuck and sad because of it. I just want to feel normal and I don’t know how to get there.

Emma, 17 years old

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Dear Emma, 
Borderline personality disorder needs to be diagnosed by a mental health professional. Has this happened or is your mum (and partner’s mum) making assumptions about what is going on for you? If they are just making assumptions, I would recommend you seek the support of a counsellor, psychologist or psychiatrist who can help you work out what is happening and give you professional support. This will be more useful than an average person’s opinion about what may be going on. Whether you have borderline personality disorder or not, they will be able to help you navigate your journey more easily. 

I’d also like you to focus on being “healthy” rather than “normal”. The truth is, everyone’s normal is different and that is perfect because we are all different. You need to work out what healthy looks like for you. 

For most of us, being healthy means finding a way to get some balance in our lives, valuing ourselves and the contributions we make to the world, and doing things we love. Explore ways you can incorporate these things into your life. 

Whatever happens, remember there is nothing fundamentally wrong with you – you just have some unique challenges and need to find some unique ways to address them. This is nothing to be ashamed of. A lot of people experience challenges with their mental health and family relationships so please know you are not alone. Make sure you reach out to people you can trust who are supportive of your journey and be honest with them about how you are feeling.

Lots of love

Lucretia’s guidance should be regarded as personal opinion only and does not constitute qualified, professional advice regarding psychological situations. If you require this type of advice, please seek the services of a professional in that field.

Got a question?

Lucretia gives honest and practical advice to help you choose the best path for you. It’s all about taking the filters off and helping young women value themselves more. Click the button to ask your question today!

Dealing with Frenemies

Dealing with Frenemies

Dealing with Frenemies

Dealing with Frenemies

Dear Lucretia,

My friend has changed a lot lately. She barely even speaks to me and my other friends and when we try to talk to her she just ignores us and continues talking to her new friend. I am having a gathering and she told us she didn’t want to come and she would rather hang with her new friend. But when I told her that a boy she was crushing over was coming she decided to come.

The other day I noticed something was off as she blew me off for no reason. It turns out she was telling all my other friends that our friendship was toxic and started to cry. I don’t know whether I want to mend our friendship, but I know that all my other friends will turn on me, and I don’t want to lose them. Thanks for helping me.

Silvia, 16 years old

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Dear Silvia, 
Teenage relationships can be very complicated but it’s important you stay true to yourself. If this girl only wants to spend time with you when it will benefit her in some way, that is very toxic – for you. And if your others decide to turn on you, that means they weren’t very good friends to begin with.

Sometimes we get so caught up in wanting someone to like us back that we lose our way. My advice is that you sit down and have a good think about your relationship with this girl. Have you been deliberately mean to her in any way? If so, apologise and move forward. If not, then it is time to assess whether this friendship is really a friendship at all. 

Friends can have a bad day and be snappy, then apologise later. After all, life is challenging and sometimes we take our unhappiness out on the people closest to us. But, it doesn’t sound like this is happening in your friendship. 

True friends are kind and supportive. They don’t try to compete with us for popularity and they don’t make up stories about us either. I understand that often we want someone to like us but not everyone will…and that is okay. It doesn’t mean you are a bad person because your worth is not based on what someone else thinks. 

It doesn’t sound like it is up to you to “mend” this friendship. It would probably be healthier to step back and let her go.

Lots of love,

Got a question?

Lucretia gives honest and practical advice to help you choose the best path for you. It’s all about taking the filters off and helping young women value themselves more. Click the button to ask your question today!

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