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How Can I feel Normal?

Oct 27, 2020Mental Health, Where do I belong?

Dear Lucretia How Can I Feel Normal

Dear Lucretia,

What do I do when both my mum and partner’s mum tell me I have borderline personality disorder? I feel so stuck and sad because of it. I just want to feel normal and I don’t know how to get there.

Emma, 17 years old

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Dear Emma, 
Borderline personality disorder needs to be diagnosed by a mental health professional. Has this happened or is your mum (and partner’s mum) making assumptions about what is going on for you? If they are just making assumptions, I would recommend you seek the support of a counsellor, psychologist or psychiatrist who can help you work out what is happening and give you professional support. This will be more useful than an average person’s opinion about what may be going on. Whether you have borderline personality disorder or not, they will be able to help you navigate your journey more easily. 

I’d also like you to focus on being “healthy” rather than “normal”. The truth is, everyone’s normal is different and that is perfect because we are all different. You need to work out what healthy looks like for you. 

For most of us, being healthy means finding a way to get some balance in our lives, valuing ourselves and the contributions we make to the world, and doing things we love. Explore ways you can incorporate these things into your life. 

Whatever happens, remember there is nothing fundamentally wrong with you – you just have some unique challenges and need to find some unique ways to address them. This is nothing to be ashamed of. A lot of people experience challenges with their mental health and family relationships so please know you are not alone. Make sure you reach out to people you can trust who are supportive of your journey and be honest with them about how you are feeling.

Lots of love

Lucretia’s guidance should be regarded as personal opinion only and does not constitute qualified, professional advice regarding psychological situations. If you require this type of advice, please seek the services of a professional in that field.

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