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Worried About my Mum

Sep 7, 2020Family, Love & Relationships

dearlucretia.com new relationship guilts

Dear Lucretia,

I’ve had a boyfriend now for about two months and have stopped spending all my free time with my Mum. I feel really guilty about it.

I keep thinking that she might be at home all by herself while I’m out having a good time. I have been at home with her for most of my life as I don’t have many friends and now, all of a sudden, I spend a lot of my time away from her. How can I make myself feel less guilty? 

Izzie, 22 years old

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Dear Izzie,

It is lovely that you care about your Mum’s well-being and want to ensure she is happy and content. But, it is also very natural and healthy for you to explore romantic relationships at your age. Staying at home all the time, just in case your Mum feels lonely, is not an ideal approach.

Don’t forget, your Mum had her own life before you were born. As you begin to spread your wings out in the world, she is possibly using this time to reconnect with herself and the things she loves to do. 

Sometimes children believe they are responsible for their parents’ happiness but this is not true. Your Mum is responsible for herself and has her own life to lead, just as you have yours. This doesn’t mean you love each other any less. But it does mean you may spend more time apart. 

Make sure you encourage your Mum to explore and develop her own interests and friendships as she may find this period a little challenging. And of course, keep spending time with her regularly and tell her that you love her. This is an exciting new life stage for you both – embrace it.

Lots of love,

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