Be Yourself, Everyone Else is Taken!
I often feel like people don’t want to be around me and I try to change myself so I can fit in. But it never feels good. What can I do?
Sammie, 16 years old
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Changing who you are, so you can fit in, is never the answer. You are a unique and beautiful person who just needs to find the right people to hang around with. I also suspect you need to do some work on accepting yourself as well.
As a teenager, you are just starting to work out who you are and this can feel really uncomfortable. Lots of other kids will be feeling exactly the same way (even if they don’t show it).
So what can you do?
First of all, I want you to look in the mirror every morning and notice one thing you like about yourself. It doesn’t matter what it is. Just pick a different thing every day.
Secondly, work on accepting that you don’t have to be perfect because no one is. When that voice in your head says you’re not good enough and people don’t like you, recognise this is a just a story that isn’t true.
Thirdly, focus on doing the activities you enjoy and try connecting with others who have similar interests.
Lastly, look around and notice if there are other people who seem to be a bit isolated. Find ways to help others and don’t be afraid to say hi. They might be feeling exactly the same as you.
Lots of love,
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Lucretia’s guidance should be regarded as personal opinion only and does not constitute qualified, professional advice regarding psychological situations. If you require this type of advice, please seek the services of a professional in that field and/or access the services listed on our Resources page.